Funny Forum

Littlegreenfootballs has gotten into the act of trolling around the left-wing blogosphere to seek out anti-semitic rants by Obama supporters. Their effort is magnified by the Obama campaign's attempts to scrub their forums of such rubbish. Even so, things slip through. If I ever come across a truly hilarious comment I'll post it up here for you guys (all four of you). Here's one from aintitcool.

Pixar = Israelby HoboCode
Jun 27th, 200810:21:30 AM
It's become untouchable. This is what is scary about it people. Any criticism of Pixar, like criticism of Israeli policies, is now met with jeers and decries of anti-cinemism (read anti-semitism).

[ed. anti-cinemism=people who hate cinnamon]

Stuff I Hate -- Street Drummers

I hate when I'm walking through Manhattan and I happen upon a street drummer. His rhythmic playing is infectious and he makes everyone feel ridiculous. I could be wearing the most expensive suit on earth, I could be a Rabbi, I could be carrying the nuclear football, it wouldn't matter, when you hear the street drummer your body takes over like a spiritual ecstacy. A little voice in the back of my head always screams to stop, but it's impossible, your heels start popping up and down on the pavement and your shoulders get jivey. Once you're out of earshot you wonder what bewitched you. It was that damn street drummer.

innumeracy

Well I haven't blogged in a while because even I get tired of my cyclical personality. Movies/Politics/Patriotism/and golf--can't I stray to some new topics? It's hard. But I'm going to give it a shot. There was a little asian girl--a fan of the Peach Pitch (many are)--who's been asking for a blog post about the heart shaped emoticon you make when you put a < and a 3 next to each other. I'm a "digital immigrant," so it took me several weeks to figure out the formula, but I finally got it to work (<3). It was a math-heavy project. Which leads me to my next digression: MATH.

I've explained this recently but I've never been a friend of math. My German friends use this truth against me in their summation of my character (*cough Fischers*). Even so, I have been vaguely confused since advanced placement math in second grade when multi-colored toy bears were used to explain multiplication tables. It just was NOT clicking. I wasn't actually booted from the accelerated program until fifth grade when, after bumping my head against a packet of problems I slammed my hand down on my desk and bellowed "God DAMN!!! I HATE THIS HACK OF CRAP!!" in my best Sam Jackson from Jurassic Park voice. I thought the teacher was in the loo, but she was sitting at her desk. I was taken outside and reprimanded--then sent packing to the nose-picker, shit kicker, club. Welcome to the little leagues.

Stan Winston, RIP

There's a nice tribute going on for Stan Winston over at aintitcool. Cameron, Dante, KNB, Gillis, and others have chipped in and it wont be long before others add their voices. I thought I'd add my two cents as a movie geek. I vividly remember the first experience of Stan Winston's creatures watching the movie ALIENS on laser-disc in the late 80's. My parents took some convincing, but after much lobbying by a family friend and movie hound (Dr. B), I got to check it out. Mind-blowing. I saw Jurassic Park at a seasonal drive-in in Clermont, Indiana where you hook the speakers on the windows and watch Hoosiers lumber and snort drunkenly outside the car looking for popcorn. The creatures looked absolutely astounding on the big screen. Predator I caught on television. His latest work was Iron Man. But Terminator 2--dad brought that one home on video back in 1991 and let me watch it. He had to lock mom in a closet upstairs for all her screaming. When Stan's animatronic leg comes crushing down on a human skull--the note chills your spine the way the first three notes of Beethoven's Fifth do. Don't tell the Germans I said that....

I know this blog has been movie heavy lately--about to go back to domestic politics in a big way--stay tuned.

back to work.

p.s. I totally forgot that Winston also did work for Carpenter's The Thing, another traumatic experience I had at Dr. B's house. Good gravy was that movie creepy.

Spielberg and Geffen--like everyone--are looking for cash. And they're going to India for it. An interesting spin on what used to be Japanese corporations getting involved with huge stakes in major movie companies. We saw how that culture influenced films at Universal. It will be just as interesting to see how Indian sensibilities, corporate culture, and management etiquette, will influence the usual pap from DreamWorks.

This comes on the heels of Spielberg opting out of producing the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2008 games--very recently--because of what China has or hasn't done in Darfur. Spielberg didn't realize the regime in Beijing was evil before they ignored one of his celebrity vanity projects. Or, he may have been trying to sabotage the Chinese two months before the Games. That is hard to imagine. Something else may have intervened...

Back to the DreamWorks deal. Since India and China are enormous emerging markets, will we see Spielberg directing an all-Indian, Indian language film in the near future? Could this be a trend? Tarantino has already dipped in here, large parts of Kill Bill were in Japanese and Chinese and the American and Asian cuts were substantially different. Will we see more young filmmakers trying to break into showbusiness and get their work out there by appealing to a foreign audience? I'd like to see a three-hour David Fincher musical about marriage customs in New Delhi, called.....what?

I'm not feeling witty enough to think of a good title...but if you really want an anti-climax...I once heard a first-hand story about Salman Rushdie that will make you pull your hair out: Salman Rushdie was sitting at a table with another famous novelist, don't remember who, and a large group of journalists. They started making fun of the titles of Robert Ludlum's airport paperbacks. They couldn't get over how pretentious the titles were. Titles like The Jansen Directive, The Parsifal Mosaic, The Icarus Agenda--etc. Someone wondered aloud what Shakespeare's plays would be called if they were written by Ludlum. According to Legend, Rushdie rattled off in rapid succession alternate names for Macbeth, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet all of which brought the table to tears. But guess what, dear reader, I don't remember any of them. Sorry.

good morning.

for those who don't know......

Yes, that is clyde peach teeing off. Highland Golf Club champion from 200? More on this mysterious god later in the blog.