Dear Reader: FOOD

Thanks for submitting to the caption contest. All of you.....Today I thought I'd talk about the restaurants in Park Slope. Fifth Avenue is a popular area right now--you've got medium priced Mexican restaurants that deliver the goods, upscale Italian feasting, and overpriced dreck. And of course, you have the Union Hall--where Tim the Bouncer greets Joey and I with: "you guys look like you're on the prowl tonight." Where I work, around 40th and Madison, there's absolutely nothing to eat--unless you want to pay $20. There's a tiny asian bistro across the street called...Asian Bistro...they specialize in 7$ tuna sandwichs and 4$ bagels (w. sausage). I eat there every day. They call me "boss." We're in the garment disctrict--or close to it--so there are always models crowding around the counter with me. The Asian Bistro sandwich artists never call them "boss." The only places to eat around midtown are chains like "Au Bon Pain," terrible delis, and extremely expensive pubs: fish and chips and a coke? $20. Or you can frequent the halal cart run by an Afghan Warlord. For $4.25 you can get a lamb feast...there's also an "authentic" Japanese deli a few blocks away where little asian girls crowd around a pastry counter like muppet-babies. The have excellent fish sandwiches and sushi--for a decent price. I was supposed to talk about Park Slope restaurants...but I got sidetracked--the grocery store is the only place in the Slope I've been eating at lately.